ripped and burning

I feel like my heart is ripped into pieces. Not hurt; just torn by circumstances. I have all these conflicting feelings brewing underneath a constant, irrepressible, overwhelming giddiness. No matter how many times I try to talk sense into myself, the happiness wins out and I'm left sitting here grinning like an idiot. I worry, I obsess, I fantasize, I remember, I suffer from terrible anxiety and insecurity. I'm an emotional whirlwind, and I kind of love it. I get nauseous, my palms sweat, my heart races, and I have no appetite.

It's so fun.