Am I even worth the risk?

He doesn't know that he still holds my heart
After all this time
A smile on his lips can tear me apart
But only on the inside
And I'm paralyzed in the blue of his eyes
Whenever his glance tries mine on for size
In every dream I touch his face
Fold comfortably into the familiar embrace
But dreams are dreams and I must awake
Only your friend
Your only friend
When will this nightmare of my life end?
There cannot be another way
We're just two halves of a whole
Two bodies sharing one soul
Will you voice what I want to say?
It's all under your control
With a word you could turn me away
But listen carefully when I say
I may not love you like I should
I might not treat you as good as another
Just remember all this time
I stood by your side
When you needed a listening ear
Who was always here?
I've tried my best to be what you need
Would it hurt you at all to be that for me?


I love you. I grew up, I changed, I learned from my terrible, terrible mistakes. I'm really glad we're friends, and I'm glad you trust me enough to open up and tell me things that I'm pretty sure you don't tell anyone else. But don't you see? I've fallen for you again. It's not even like last time, because we're both different people. I want a chance to show you that I can love you like you deserve. You already know we can have so much fun together and we have so much in common. I just have a very strong gut feeling that there is something much bigger and better than the friendship we already have, and the relationship we had before. And if it's bigger and better than those then it has to be earth shaking. I'm asking for a chance. I don't know when, or even if, I'll ever have the courage to speak this to you, but I know that, as well as you know me, you have at least some idea of everything that's going on behind the smiles and the oh-I'm-fine's. I guess I'm posting this in the hopes that somehow you'll run across it and then you'll know.